I saw it!!! They were walking down the street, holding hands. Then they stopped at the corner before his college and kissed!!! I swear!!! I saw it!!!

It’s difficult to have a love life with a little sis in the house. But the scenario was a lot different and the heat was quickly spreading. Now the whole family was around the siblings. Mom, Dad, Gramps and the worst part was, Mom had called in her sis to help her “morally”. Aunt was definitely not the sign of peace or truce. She was Mom’s conscience. She filled in whenever Mom lacked the courage to whack the siblings, and this was not rare.

Dad : Is what she saying, true? Do you realize this is not the simplest of issues?

Mom : We never should have shifted to America. We’ve spoilt our children raw!!! (Sob!!! Sob!!!)

Sis : I don’t kiss any one!!! I don’t even kiss Dad!!! Am I a good child?

Bro : Yeah, a good brat!!!

Dad : It’d not funny! You shame me! And Mom, who asked you to call the entire family in here? I am sure this is not something I want the entire world knowing. (turning to Aunt), get Kanchana out of here. I don't want her tainted by whats going on in here!

Aunt : I am only here to support her through all this! This is most shocking, even for me! So if you don’t like me here, put up with it! (She’s now holding Mom through her wheezing sobs).

Dad : Son, I asked you a question. Are you denying it? You can! It’ll save me a lot of face.

Mom : Please tell me it never happened and I’ll only be glad.

Sis : I promise! I saw them at it! Beli…

She was cut in by the harsh sobs of Mom and the ferocious glare in Dad’s eye. She is saved by Aunt, who ushers her into the bedroom and secures the door behind her.

Dad : So. I assume you don’t deny it!

Bro : Well, I guess there is nothing for me to say in this! What do you want me to say?

Shock!!! Mom stops sobbing, as if hell froze over! Dad was simply stumped. Aunt was smiling at the failure Bro had turned out to be. Her son will now be the pride of Gramps eye. But it was most unfortunate that gramps was almost completely deaf to hear what was going on. Gramps was also disoriented and completely disconnected from what was happening.

Dad : You worthless brat!!! How did you even get the guts to do such a thing?

Bro : Kissing someone is not like killing someone. I am not ashamed! I am actually in love! We are even planning to marry! We won’t let anyone het between the two of us!

Mom is now positively shrieking and Aunt is glaring at Bro. Dad swings at Bro and catches him right in the face. Gramps, who was, until now, unaware of the plot around which people were reacting, looks up at the enraged father-son duo and mildly approaches,

Gramps : No matter what he’s done, its never a reason to hit him. Love heals everything. Talk through all this and I am sure you will all come to a smooth conclusion.

Bro : Exactly my thoughts!!!

Dad shoots a hot glare at gramps and then returns his bloodshot eyes to his son.

Bro : Like I said, we are in love and we want to get married.

Mom : How can this be? It is not in our culture to do this? Are they at least Hindus?

Dad : Are you insane? You talk like you don’t mind him getting married!

Bro, decisively ignoring Dad’s comments : Ma, they are not only Hindus, they are also Iyengars. Just like us, Vadakalai.

Dad : Oh, shut up you brat! No one is asking for you to open your mouth.

Gramps : Its too late now, Kesava. It will be easier for us to marry the two of them off. And they are Iyengars too. It won’t cause a lot of issues in the family and we can adjust. Please call the parents and talk to them.

Dad : Appa, please!!!! You don’t understand the situation. I am not going to tolerate this. Please!!!

Mom : If this is the only way my son is going to be happy, I don’t mind it.

Dad : Oh, shut up!!!

Gramps : Kesava, call up the parents and talk to them and then we will all decide together.

Dad : Appa, understand Pa. How can I talk to them? What will I tell them? “I am the father of Sudharshan. I have come to ask the hand of your son, Raman, in marriage to my son”. Imagine the shame!!!

Gramps (a little confused) : What did you say????

Aunt (he lips curling in a vicious smile) : Sudharshan wants to marry a boy!

Dad turns away and mom starts a fresh bout of crying. Gramps was clearly shocked and there was a distant look that had creped into his eye. Dad was now positively shocked. He did not know which was worse! His son wanting to marry another boy, or his father slowly transcending into a state of shock.

Dad : Get out of my sight you lousy brat. Look at what you’ve done! At least call 911.

Gramps (managing to breathe a few words out) : Please don’t shout at him. At least it’s an Iyengar boy. Talk to the boy’s family and try convincing them that Sudharshan will be the one tying the Maangalyam.

Sis (peering from an open window) : Does this mean I am getting a Priamma?

Aunt : No. You are getting a Periappa.

Dad : Oh shut up, all of you! What is happening here, I cannot allow a boy to enter my home as my daughter-in-law.

Aunt : Well, he can even be your Son-in-law. Its really up to you to decide. (She was clearly enjoying this).

Gramps : Kesava, don't let them talk you into being the bride's father. Show them what you are made of, or else we will have to pay for the wedding! But remember, if necessary, Sudharshan can have all of Padhmini's jewelery. She wanted her Grandson's wife to have them, but under these circumstances, she would have been more than happy to see her Grandson, himself, wear them.

Dad : Oh please, everyone quiet down. I give up!


Harini Padmanabhan said...

Sigh.I take it you got the forward too. :)

sid said...

one of the best!!!

sid said...
This comment has been removed by the author.