In a SNAP!!!!

It was two or so in the afternoon...Sweltering hot in my town of chennai. I was sitting, fiddling around with my pen. The pen I bought from my earnings. I was twirling my pen around my fingers, a habit I developed to keep my mind from diverting. Today, however, I was all the more serious. So serious that I was biting my lips, tugging at my hair, twirling my pen between my fingers, not blinking, and all at the same time. It was happening again.

I had driven down here in my dads car, the A/C blasting, my phone screaming at the top of its voice (its got 4 built-in speakers). I was in queue to park. I found the perfect spot. Right at the beginning, I realized I needed this spot coz I was sure I was not going to be long. 'I shouldn't be long', I told the security. Tipped him to watch my car.

There was a crowd. A large flock of people. All with a serious frown on their face. When I passed them, I noticed they did not look at me twice. I was dressed in the most banal of dresses. Did not want to attract any attention. Looked like my dress was working its charm. Now people will have noticed me, but will not remember me. Just what I need. I had a purpose and a mission.

While I walked from the car, a pack of ridiculously dressed teenagers jeered at my plight. A puny kid, with an extra large shirt and baggy jeans with a cap almost covering his now long hair, driving a car. Yes, a sight to behold indeed. But again, I had a mission and a purpose. I smiled at the punks and make my way pat the giggling pack of girls.

Well, it took me 5 minutes over the planned time to spot the mark. I had not done my homework right. I cursed myself. I tagged a group of people headed towards a common place, it seemed. I followed, unobserved. I should have walked slightly faster than the girl ahead of me, for, I hit the heel of her shoe in my stride. She turned and stared. Now there was at least one person who had seen me in the eye. It was no longer safe. I slowed down after a small and heart-felt apology. The incident was over. I had followed the group into a room filled with chairs. There were tow stern looking people ushering the crowd into the seats. I should have been so good at the camouflage that I was shown into one of the seats too. All the kids outside who were too busy pouring over thick books and scribbling on tiny bits of paper, were now seated in well spaced out chairs. I was seated among them. I felt alone in a room at least 30. I had successfully alienated myself from the rest of the crowd.

I was a man with a mission and a purpose. All those in the room were absolutely terrified. There was tension in the air. I was somehow immune to all that. 'What the hell? Did these people not go to college at all?', I asked myself. I laughed to myself, looking at the people around me, wondering what they would say if they only knew how different I was from them.

2 hours had passed since I walked into the room with the crowd. I was sitting, fiddling around with my pen. The pen I bought from my earnings. I was twirling my pen around my fingers, a habit I developed to keep my mind from diverting. Today, however, I was all the more serious. So serious that I was biting my lips, tugging at my hair, twirling my pen between my fingers, not blinking, and all at the same time. It was happening again. I thought I had moved on, but here I was again, sitting down for a test, completely unprepared and not a speck sorry about it. It felt like being in college again.

P.S. My snap results came today and I am proud to say that I missed a negative score by a pretty long whisker. That's like a distinction to the effort I put in.

HUDDLE FOR THE NIGHT

Well, this other night, I was thundering down my street to get home at the earliest. I had not eaten in ages and I was dying to sink my teeth into something hot and spicy. Trouble, it was 9.30 in the night. I was early from office today thanks to one of our vendors who agreed to meet me at the corner of my street. I was blessed to get out of office this early. It was just like any other day in Coimbatore. There was, however, one small change in the whole city. The city now had, to its pride, a proud owner of a brand new bullet tearing down its streets, kicking up at the gravel from the already worn out roads. If you cant place the lucky bugger, let me give you a clue....

Its ME....

But like any other normal night in coimbatore, the night was cold. The wind was stinging my skin. I had my eyes leaking from the chill in the air. There was a steady stream of tear running from the corner of my eyes all the way into the hair on the back of my hair. I was late for the meeting with my vendor. I had to drive from office. I did not mind the drive thanks to the beast I was riding. The bike was such a wonder that I did not realize I had taken twice the time I usually take to drive from work. No regrets.

Like I said, the air was cold. The wind was hard and my knuckles were white form the weather. I would not have felt any colder if I was naked. I finished my transaction with my vendor and turned to get home. Its difficult to notice anything when you are riding a bullet. But this just caught my attention so much.

There was a pink grilled landing jutting into the pavement from the front of one of the side shops. The pink grills held the cutest things I've noticed driving my BULLET. In the corner of the small landing, there were at least 15 of the cutest and smallest puppies I've ever laid my eyes on. They must have just opened their eyes coz they looked at me like the way I see things on a late Sunday morning. All but 2 of the pups had heaped themselves up into a pile, protecting themselves from the harsh chill in the strong winds. I stuck my hand into the heap and realized just how warm it was in there. It was a group huddle. A group of Scotties, Labs and Poms.






































How can dogs, at this stage of their lives take to one another for their mutual benefit when, us, MEN, cant so much as put up with one another?

I am sorry that people cant hold each others hands even to relieve themselves from the cold.

THE DARK SECRET REVEALED

It all starts with a brown ball ( or at least, almost a ball) of slightly elastic and adhesive material. Its a simile to ecstasy. 20 seconds into it and a suffocating quantity of highly corrosive and potentially pathogenic fluid starts to pour out of every available orifice. The fluid collects around the round material, slowly and painlessly etching away the outer surface of the material. The wall thickness of the material starts to get washed away by the microns. A very small quantity, but at a rate that can beat time. The fluid is drained every few seconds and is replenished by a fresh mixture of the same corrosive agent and same level of pathogens. The fluid is drained with a force. This is to ensure the fluid raises the small projections (buds) placed on the floor of the chamber. As the fluid raises the projections, some of the etched material is deposited on the walls of these buds. Again the material's wall thickness is reduced by the rejuvenated and fervent fluid. But the volume of the fluid is not enough to completely fill the chamber. This means that only one half of the material will be etched. Its now time to drain the fluid and flip the material over.

This causes the flow of a fresh batch of the fluid. The process continues for a while and finally, when there has been enough material removal and enough material deposition, and when the wall thickness of the material is almost non-existent, the dark, smooth and bitter paste oozes out. This new paste that emanates from within the material itself, has to be slowly sucked by creating a low pressure region at the inner depths of the facilities. The fluid, excited by the fresh oozing goo, helps initiate and hasten the flow of the thick paste. It helps by slowly dissolving the paste, making it a liquid and again raises the buds on the floor of the chamber.

The flow of the material and the material itself, govern the specificness of the buds that are raised. That is, certain materials raise certain buds while some other materials raise some other buds.

With this material, the buds at the front tip are raised and they pick up the dissolved material. The buds reach their highest peak when the goo oozes out and thats when you realize you have just a few more seconds before your chocolate completely melts in your mouth.

And this is how a jobless freak describes the way he eats his chocoliebe.

One More Off The List

I wanted to die, then, there. I missed my chance. The moment has passed.

It a Wednesday, 2 in the afternoon. My legs were shaking, cramping from the torture I had put them through. They were worn out from the weight they were made to bear. My shoulders were aching. I had my colleague massaging my back, while completely delirious in laughter. I had just completed my turn on the HARLEY ROAD KING that we use for testing.

This is perhaps one of the most thrilling moments of my life. I remember telling my mother I always wanted to die driving a Harley. I had my chance to drive it, I chose not to die.

I managed to get my feet over the seat and tugged at the handle bars with all my might. I finally got the beast standing. I now had all the 786 pounds of raw metal between my thighs. I wanted to give my best shot at cranking the engine to life. Someone fore-saw this and decided to pull the crank off the bike. Had to settle for the button. I could feel the monster that lay asleep while I turned the battery on. It was eerie. But it was a amazing feeling, adrenaline rushing to my head. I could have done something stupid. I respected the bike. I turned the key to ignition and pressed the button (Oh and I almost forgot the run switch, a fine touch for these bikes). The beast was alive. Rumbling, like a hungry lion. I t was no purr of the stupid plastic bikes. This was just music. My hands were shaking beyond control. The bars were just reverberating. The throttle was smooth. The sound was deafening and it scared me out of my skin. I did not panic. I reached out for the foot peg and slowly eased the beast into gear. The resonance lessened. My body was no longer shaking with the bike. This was a pleasant feeling. I eased the clutch and throttled. She moved. I kept her gliding. It was amazing. I cant explain anymore in words.

I drove a HARLEY. Read that again. That has been my dream for perhaps all my life.

People...Don't call my work a hassle anymore. Its made most of my dreams come true...

INSTITUTIONALIZED?

Well, they usually say, 'when in Rome, do as the Romans do'. I would just retort saying, why? When in Rome, just do what you want to do. As a kid, they teach you how to behave as a kid. In school, they teach you how to be a student. In college, they try to teach you how to be a professional. At work, they teach you that morality is what at stake. At each stage, they teach you to be something they think is best for you. They teach you what they missed in their lives. They use you to fill their gaps. They think they are helping you be better than what they turned out to be. A kid is an individual as long as he thinks for himself. A man is an individual as long as he decides for himself. The moment there is someone trying to sort things out for him, he loses his identity as an individual. He is obscured by the bonds of the so called society. I love the saying 'it was man who created civilization. Not the other way around'. Its true. If man did not think for himself, he would not have lost his fur or shaved his arm pits. If man did not think for himself, there would not have been any mankind. Who taught man how to feed or how to commit suicide? He tried, he succeeded. Those who failed are hungry and alive(the worst things that can happen to someone at th same time). Man has a mind that grows with him. It remembers. It recollects. Only when you see, you remember. Only when you remember, you recollect. Only if you recollect, you can prove your point, any where. Well, unless you think for yourself, you can't be you. Its people like them who tell you there is a right way to think and a wrong way to think. Theres only one way to think...Your way. The m0ment you have someone else doing your thinking, you are institutionalized. You have lost your identity in the land of the free men. The moment you start thinking like a man when you are a kid, you are institutionalized. The moment you start thinking like a retired man at 21, in your first job, you are institutionalized. Be free. You have a mind of your own. Stop using what others use. Find your mettle and focus your way, screw the world.

This is a bloody straight forward post. Please don't look for any hidden meaning or wise-cracks. There aren't any. This was not written in frustration. This was written as a reminder for me to not stop myself from doing what I want to do. Same goes to you.

THEY WEREN'T, FOR A REASON

(A sliver from a brother’s diary)

July 29, 1939.

We have been running from the Germans for 3 days now. We were spotted for the second time yesterday by their sniper. We almost missed him. He was blended with the bushes. Don spotted him peeking. He had his camouflage on. Down to the twigs on his helmet. It was luck that gave him to us. I did not want to alert the entire battalion. I got my boys to lie low for a while. It was 2 in the morning and most of their men would have been asleep or atleast weary, for we had been giving them the slip for a week now. I was wrong. The sniper let out a shrill whistle out to call his mates. The whistle sent chill down my neck, combined with the strong winds at 2 in the morning. I froze. I got my men into formation and we changed direction to give them the slip. It had worked before and I was not going to try something new. But Sid pointed out to something small that was pulling a man behind it. The Germans now had dogs on our heels. I got the guys to split into 3 groups of 2 and I took Jack with me. Sam climbed the nearest tree and spotted atleast 20 men, including 3 snipers, 5 dogs. I thanked the clear skies and the bright moon. But we were just as exposed as they were. I did not want to loose any more of my men. I had already lost 3 to this bloody mission. I told my men to flange the Germans from behind the trees and take out as many as they can. The looked at me in stunned surprise. Our mission was to discretely take out the German base 20 miles into the Polish lines. Not try and survive an unnecessary barrage of bullets from a completely incompetent set of soldiers. I was confident of our victory. The Germans looked scared. The did not leave their formation. They were a clump. Its always easy to take out a bunch. It’s the stray ones that are troublesome. They were getting closer to us. My men had already managed to get behind their formation. Everything was set for a cross-fire. The plan worked. The Germans were caught in our cross-fire. The Germans fell to the American bullets. We took no prisoners. I lost none of my men. We trudged on for another 4 hours before we were in sight of the German base. We dug our pits in less than an hour. Got our supplied stashed and filled our satchels with what we needed. I got the guys to rest. Tomorrow we take out the base. We had to plan. Our C4 was minimal. We have to rig up a new one to blow the whole place sky high.

My bud from the 31^st battalion wrote saying he had an amazing new talent in the troops. A girl called something like Marilyn Monroe or something. He wrote to me saying was amazing on the field. The Germans infiltrated the American soil on the 15^th. She rushed to ground zero and ran stark naked to distract the Germans and to give the sniper his room for magic. She did not realize she was also distracting the sniper. But you gotta give her a ten for her courage.

I received a letter from Sam yesterday. It was a reply to my whishes for his 5^th birthday. Lisa had also written. I get it from the letter that things are not bright back home either. The state now claims to have their hands on a man called Rudolf Butler. They claim him to be the link to the German master mind Adolf Hitler. They claim Adolf to be Rudolf’s evil twin. Lisa works for the Intelligence and she wrote saying they are trying to seduce Rudolf into talking about Adolf. I want them to try this Monroe girl. But Lisa also said there is some small time pub singer they are working with. They are getting him to look like Diana Ross. And from what Lisa write, they are almost there. This man is going to seduce 12 year old Rudolf into talking about his twin brother. She called this man some Michael (a common name that can be over looked if ever checked by the Germans).

Well, I am atleast alive to command my men. I sure hope they get this thing wound up before the whole army is eradicated. I have 2 hours of rest before I have to communicate my plan for the operation ROOTCANAL, to the group. I hope I am alive till then. Although we took out the Germans on our tail, I still think they were just the tip of an ice berg. I miss Tequila on the rocks. And I miss Sam and Lisa. Love you guys, and you too Tequila.

DISCLAIMER:

This piece of text was written by an American soldier who thought he was leading an American troop of atleast 7 during the second world war on the 29^th of July, 1939. If you believe this is true, man you need a lesson in history. Also, I have no idea about Monroe’s courage. So there was no offence meant there. With Michael, please do not think it is Michael Jackson. I love him. This is just some Diana Ross look-alike Michael. If you feel any part of the above post is against your religious principles, please do not hesitate to add that in the comments.

A 22 YEAR OLD'S DILEMA

Well, they say age is a factor in decision making. The more you grow the better your decisions are.

An idiom. And idioms have exceptions.

Now you know where I fit.

I've been making all my decisions all these years.

It was I who decided I was going to be a boy. And I now take it for granted my decisions are always good.

I remember the time when I had to decide which school to switch to. I had been in my previous school since my kinder garden and I happily chose to switch to another new school. When I had to choose what I wanted for my 12th birth day, I was spontaneous in calling out for a bicycle.

Well, then came my teen. This is where trouble starts. Actually this is where you get into trouble. All hell breaks loose when you realize that your friend for all these years has been a GIRL!!!!

You tend to think out of the box with anything you do. Be it riding your cycle with the gang or just hanging out with your family. You are in what can only be described as adolescence. Your actions are automatically reasoned and your parents are just scared beyond grief at your state. You are no longer paraded as a SON. You are now just a boy.

Getting back to the girl (they do not like being neglected for too long), you tend to realize her presence and your hesitation. You are no longer free to talk to her about you flat tire the other day. The major reason being, she doesn't trust you any more.

A serious situation indeed. And to top things off, Its now time for you to decide whether you are going to be an Engineer like Uncle Krishnan or be a doctor like Aunty Rekha or just be free like cus Raj.

Its a vulnerable state of mind and when you have a girl toying your brains at this stage, you are in for the most glorious recipe for disaster.

Get through all of that and finish your school, you realize that all this time you have been blissfully unaware of the joys of life. A 5 month hibernation period to muddle things up in your mind and blindly point in the direction of the closest Engineering College to home. Life has its ups and down. Now that you have decided its going to be an engineering college, its time to decide which course. Again, a game of twister and WOAH!!! you are a mechanical engineer in the making.

Again getting back to the girl, all this time you fall out of touch. You being nervous to act and she being busy scoring. As a fairy tale would have it, you score like hell and she drops a few points on the total and ends up in the same college you picked(BLINDFOLDED!!!!). Well life does give you a second chance once in a while.

You are in fresh company. You find good friends in strangers and you are now exposed to their ways of life. Its different being exposed to another's take on life.

You struggle to keep up with life. You struggle harder to keep up with your count on flunked subjects. Life is like a sailor's knot. The harder you struggle, the tighter the knot gets.

So sometimes, the best thing to do is sit back and relax. But mind you, once you get used to the idea of relaxing, you loose the idea of working.

Man girls are hard to maintain. You cant stray off them for any period of time longer than 5 seconds. Like i said, you are just out of your teens and in a society that wants the sexes to meet and interact. You try your luck. You seek help from those you think are the masters of the art of bird snaring. You spend like you crap money. You forget you dad pulls in lesser than he shells out on you. You are now the captive of the aged and mystic society of The Incurable Spendthrifts. Cycling with the gang now escalates to riding with the mob.

Your dad realizes you are growing(better late than never). He wants to help shape your future. Its your 22nd birthday, you are nearing your end of college life. Your dad wants to get you something that might help you in the future. He wants you to decide.

Well I am at this stage now and I am absolutely devastated. Well between the scores of friends and that girl I tend to neglect, its difficult to decide between the PSP and the PS2.

SOMEONE HELP!!!!!





I say PSP!!!!!!!!!

PROTO

I call this PROTO only because this is my first blog and I have no previous experience in either blogging or penning my thoughts. I only write because my friend has been badgering me to do so for just over an eternity now. Well I thought if I start writing in my blog, I can start commenting in his. To start off on a lighter note, I decided to talk on one of my favorite topics, BOREDOM. My sole companion since I left college. I work at PRICOL, and I found here, my escape from this disease of mine. I tend to get bored easily of whatever I do. I decided to do a little research on WHY I got bored so easily. I found there can be quite a few reasons why one can get bored. I listed them out so I can get a good grip on the situation and try an ease myself off this state of mind. I thought I could share my research with people I know so that they can chuck any ideas on why I am a pain in the butt.

Boredom has been my savior for all these years. I have proof that the only word that can stop any argument at its peak is "BOREDOM". I would encourage you to try it...

Take for instance an argument with your parents on why you flunked your exams (10.5/100)...I promise you you can stun your parents to a dumb silence by just saying " I was too bored to answer more than 2 questions"...

Trust me when I tell you it works.

Boredom has been my reason to both success and failure. I succeeded in failing because I was bored.

I did not start blogging all these days because I was too bored to and I have now started blogging because I was too bored to do anything else. I remember the times in college when I attended classes because I was bored.

I can safely use 'Bored' to reason out any of my mistakes. And I do it too.

Why didn't you come home for dinner????!!!!

Doesn't the expression "BORED" just fall in place here????

When does someone get bored?
I am sure it happens when you have been doing either too much of the same thing or doing something the same way for just a little too long.

The best part is I have not been doing either but I am easily bored. Nothing can keep me happy for too long.

All this is in tune with the Newtons Law : (Some)Body will continue to be in a state of SLEEP or of Continual BOREDOM until acted upon by an external force.

All it takes to feel busy (I assume thats the opposite of Bored), is some force.

A supernatural force for sure, coz I've never experienced it before.

Why the hell do I talk so much about something so lame???

MAN I'M BORED!!!!!